Around the time my kids turned one, my Google search history looked something like this: Should I give my kid cow’s milk? Is soy milk safe for toddlers? Is oat milk ok for babies? Can I give my baby almond milk? Should I make my oat milk? Do I have to give my kids cow’s milk when they turn one? Do my kids have to drink dairy formula until they are one? Does formula give babies diarrhea? Does baby formula have antibiotics and hormones? Can I trust organic milk? Is homogenized milk bad?
Because of my daughters’ (Vivienne and Margot) extreme prematurity, and Margot’s short bowel diagnosis, we had a lot of watery diarrhea and dry, crumbly caca during the twins’ first year of life.
I suspected the GI-prescribed formula we used to fortify my breast milk was perpetually inflaming Margot’s never-healing gut. And I was desperate to get them off dairy in hopes it might ease the gastrointestinal rollercoaster we’d been riding on repeat.
What I knew was that lactose is a common intolerance and cow’s milk protein is a common allergen. I knew that saturated fat has been linked to inflammation, and I was skeptical of anything that can turn a 65-pound baby cow into a 1300-pound behemoth in 18 months.
The week the twins turned one (adjusted for prematurity) I had an appointment with GI to plead my case for full-fat oat milk. Our doctor gave me his blessing because the girls were eating well, and because I promised I would keep a detailed food journal and a photo diary of their bowel movements.
I left the doctor’s office victorious that day, but my victory was not the win I was hoping for in the diaper department. I still spent my days cleaning diarrhea diapers. Since so much of their nutrition was still coming from milk, I was certain the beverage was my key to improving our tummy troubles. Thus began a two-year obsession with milks.
I had questions—so. many. questions.
The answers to said questions were not as conclusive as I had hoped. If you try hard enough, you can probably find research to support ring pops as a great source of sodium. I ultimately landed on homemade oat milk fortified with flax oil and supplemented with vitamins D and B12. (More on supplements later.) I was not, however, confident in the research that led me to my homemade milk, but our diarrhea situation turned into a yellow soft-serve situation, bringing our D- in digestion up to a solid C. I took the win and kept researching. This is how my plant milk journey became The Plant Milk Project.
When Nicole joined The Plant Milk Project, I knew the first thing I wanted to tackle with the expertise of a pediatric dietitian who has a healthy skepticism of dairy was cow’s milk.
Nicole joined The Plant Milk Project just a couple of weeks before her daughter turned one, and I felt like I was about to get the answer to life’s greatest mystery when I asked her, “so, what are you going to do about milk?”
Her original plan was to keep her daughter on baby formula, but to water it down as more of her daughter’s calories came from solids. (Note: we do not recommend doing this unless you’re working with a doctor and/or dietitian or you are a doctor or dietitian.) But my watery diarrhea to yellow soft serve success put homemade plant milks on Nicole’s research radar.
I took full advantage. I was all like, “well, while you’re researching, I have a few questions I’d like some answers to…”
That’s how The Plant Milk Project’s Guide to Milk and Milk Alternatives started.
We started this series with the goal of finding a perfectly clean, nutrition-rich, plant-based beverage to give kids instead of cow’s milk. Because, while packed with nutrition, cow’s milk production in the U.S. is questionable.
I wanted homemade plant-based milks to be the answer for everyone. Nothing feels as wholesome than serving my kids a fresh glass of coconut oat milk I made in my kitchen from organic ingredients. I wanted this creamy, preservative-free goodness to be the answer, but our research brought us to a different, much more flexible, conclusion than either of us expected: there is no universally perfect beverage for a toddler.
There are a few beverages that are a hard no, like rice milk or almond milk, because they are void of nutrition. But cow’s milk, oat milk, or homemade plant-milk blends, all have their benefits and drawbacks. The best milk for your kids is the one that ensures they get the nutrition they need.
Would it be ideal if you could minimize exposure to hormones, antibiotics, seed oils, and weird preservatives? Sure, but nutrition is the first priority.
Prior to one year of age, pediatricians, gastroenterologists, and dietitians around the world recommend babies be fed (a) breastmilk supplemented with a multivitamin that includes iron + vitamin D or (b) a dairy formula. Even when a child has a lactose intolerance or a milk protein allergy, the recommendation is still dairy formula (though it may be a hypoallergenic dairy formula) because cow’s milk has solid fat, protein, and DHA—an essential fatty acid for brain development and eye health.
Rarely, a doctor will explore soy formulas if they suspect an allergy, but the diagnosis for cow’s milk protein allergy is not straightforward. There is a skin prick test, However, if your child has a non-IgE mediated cow’s milk allergy, meaning their reaction to it is not immediate—the skin prick test is usually negative. An IgE-mediated allergy is severe and happens immediately with symptoms like swelling, vomiting, hives, and difficulty breathing. A non-IgE-mediated allergy manifests as delayed symptoms like diarrhea, vomiting, blood in the stool and failure to thrive. Both types of allergies mean the food is a hard no, and parents have to read labels carefully. More commonly, your doctors put patients with suspected cow’s milk protein allergies on an elimination diet (i.e. remove all cow’s milk protein from babies diet; if mom is breast feeding, remove all cow’s milk protein from her diet—yes, even cheese!) and evaluate if symptoms resolve.
The hesitation with prescribing a soy formula is that most of the time, kids with true CMPA (cow milk protein allergy) will also be allergic to soy, since it’s another top allergen. So most of the time, doctors who truly believe a child has CMPA will put the child on a hypoallergenic formula to not waste any more time. Usually moms are already pulling her hair out at this point. Imagine, your baby has been crying hysterically, spitting up after every feed and has chronic constipation. You haven’t slept for weeks or had a moment of silence in your home, and now your doctor tells you, you can’t have any cheese — thus eliminating the perfect midnight snack between pumping sessions.
While soy may work, a hypoallergenic formula usually solves the problem without subjecting your kid to another dietary experiment.
Once kids turn one and more of their nutrients come from food, you have more flexibility in what you can offer them. Grocery store shelves are stocked with nut milks, whole-grain based milks, seed milks, and lactose-free milks. The grocery store is your sweet, creamy beverage dispensary—BUT, which one is the right one?
After a ton of research on cow’s milk and alternative milk options, we’ve landed on these key questions to ask yourself when deciding what kind of milk to give your child after they turn one:
Does your child have any special nutritional needs or digestive issues?
As a parent of extremely premature babies, growth was—and continues to be—a concern. We need all the calories we can get over here. In the same breath, both girls have digestive issues because of their complicated medical histories. We’ve learned that dairy doesn’t agree with them. In theory, drinking cow’s milk is more nutritionally dense, but that’s not helpful if the milk causes diarrhea—which puts them at risk for not getting all the nutrients from the other foods they are eating.
This does not mean you should immediately give up cow’s milk if your child has diarrhea. If your child has digestive issues or other medical concerns, you work with a doctor—preferably a specialist—to explore your options for milk after one.
If it’s important to you to find a dairy alternative, make sure you choose a specialist who listens to your concerns, will review research you bring her, and will explore unconventional options.
How varied is your child’s diet, how much is she actually eating, and how much attention do you want to focus on food?
If your family eats a variety of foods—including plenty of healthy fats and a lot of different fruits and vegetables—you have more flexibility with what milks you can choose to give your toddler. But if you’re always on the go and you have a kiddo who subsists on baby puffs, it’s tough to give a growing body everything it needs.
Milk comes packed with folate, Calcium, Vitamin D, protein, fat (including DHA), and zinc (which is more bioavailable in animal products than from non-animal sources). It takes a lot of leafy greens, beans, quinoa, mushrooms, avocado, nuts, seeds, flax, olive oil, tempeh, nutritional yeast, and other supplements to raise a kid without dairy. And to raise your kids with no animal products—like I’ve chosen to do—requires a great deal of attention to what and how much they are eating.
While cow’s milk has its hormones, antibiotics, and potentially inflammatory qualities, it is packed with nutrition—and whatever it lacks naturally, is added in fortification.
When you choose a plant-based dairy alternative, make sure your kid gets all the nutrients and calories she isn’t getting from the plant milk. If you’ve got a good eater with a hearty appetite on your hands, this is easier to achieve.
How much time and energy do you want to devote to milk and food?
You get to set boundaries around your trip and there is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing—and saying—you have too much on your plate to spend weeknights straining home made oat milk into glass bottles. Knowing you can’t (or don’t want to) cook a meal with 17 ingredients on a weeknight—or ever—allows you to plan for healthy meals that work with your lifestyle. You don’t have to pretend you’re going to make cauliflower tikka masala on Thursday night. The only thing pretending does is ensure a trip to Chick-fil-a and a rotting cauliflower in your crisper at the end of the month.
If it sounds like we are trying to deter you from giving your toddler oat milk—or any of its plant-based cousins—that’s not exactly true. We love the idea of limiting or eliminating exposure to hormones, antibiotics, and itty-bitty, unnatural, homogenized fat molecules. And it’s possible to bring your toddler up with none of that stuff, but it takes work.
If the idea of pouring your kids a warm cup of soy milk with cinnamon and the tiniest hint of lemon peel excites you, we support that. We want to help you do it in a way that gives your squishy tot everything he needs to grow.
If you want to pour a sippy cup full of cow’s milk you bought at the nearest grocery store, we support that. We want to help you do it in a way that gives your tiny little love everything she needs to grow.
If you want to land somewhere in between, we support that too.
Over the next few weeks, we are sharing research and our conclusion on cow’s milk, store-bought plant-based milks, homemade plant milk blends, and how to make the best decision for your family with your child’s nutritional needs at the forefront of the conversation.
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